Yes. I'm not kidding. Ask me whether I'm tired or confuse working on 3 jobs? Honestly, sometimes I find it okay but sometimes it's exhausting. But I'm surviving I guess. 

Well, I'm actually learning alot (of course la, 3 jobs wor) but I also found out things that I gradually dislike and things that I like. 

My interest on my uncle's business has grown. He's a hotel system supplier and now he's expanding his business onto digital advertising. Also, he's into movie production business so I'll be able to experience the process of how a movie is produce and the procedure to sell it to local publication. 

Where else interest on my aunt's business is going... down? Even though I get to experience even more stuff, meeting clients and all, understanding the shipment process, doing price analysis, but part of me dislike the business as I have to deal with a lot of pattern people. But deep down, I know that there's a lot of pattern people in life that we'll have to deal, so gotta force myself to do it. 

Oh, and on my piano teaching career, I find myself enjoying it the most because being able to educate and create interest in children brightens my day a lot. I have no idea I can be so patient with my students (because usually I'm very not when I was teaching my younger sister). 

So I guess I'm growing in a lot of ways. Living one hell of a life man. 

since I'm only 23, am gonna exhaust myself with all these work load and experience! Nyahahaha. #JustKidding #GonnaWorkHardToEarnMoney #AndExperience

and I had mine,

My little infinities. 

Even though this semester was quite hectic, I'm glad that I really live life to the fullest. I spent most of my time in the library but with FUN people, we revised together, laughed together, get serious together, stress together. I love this feeling!!!! 

The craziest thing is, I spent only 3days to finish my last assignment. (Yes, this is something worth mentioning because usually I start my assignment 2weeks before it is due. This semester is so hectic that I have four assignments due in one week and I've got no time to do some of them in advance coz of ma hectic schedule everyweek). Stayed over in the library for one whole night before the assignment due with a bunch of classmates. I'm just so happy that we are all in this together :P

2) Sometimes I feel like I have too much freedom here that I'd become a person who talks with no boundaries. I only care for those whom I care, I criticize those whom I dislike / things that I 看不顺眼 in front of them, basically I'm becoming more and more pattern each day that I'm afraid that my good friends are annoyed by me. But non of them express any unhappiness towards my patternness. (Well, except one of my cooking mate. I can sense that she feels like slapping my face all the time) but I don't really care you know. because I don't wanna make her feel like I'm pleasing her, or I'm actually tolerating her princess attitude. So yea, I'm completely myself this moment. 

Though I don't know whether I should continue to be like that. But everyone seems to be fine and they are always laughing when they are with me. Maybe it's a good thing? I don't know. 

I guess I should learn how to 收放。

3) eventhough I contributed to today's class discussion, but there is a slight unhappiness as I'm still the old me who doesn't know how to express her points well. How the hell am I gonna survive :(. 

Tonight, let me drown myself in music. 

***

【保持心理平衡10条要诀】
①对自己不苛求
②对亲人期望不要过高
③不要处处与人争斗
④暂离困境
⑤适当让步
⑥对人表示善意
⑦找人倾诉烦恼
⑧帮助别人做事
⑨积极娱乐
⑩知足常乐

我该学一学。

It has been a very tough experience for me to really forget and forgive what she said few days ago (what more with the recent event). These few days, I kept watching my feelings, and I questioning myself, "why did I allow someone like that to hurt me", "why did I give my heart out to someone like that", and it all comes down to "why am I affected by her words?". And I realize, the problem is not on her, it's on me. Because I always take everyone's comments, feelings, view and words so seriously, and now it has become a habit even to someone I'm not close with. But I'm still angry with her, if she could just think before she talk, I won't be bothered with her words now and I will be fully focusing on my studies now.

So, I wanted to post something on facebook, "Please think before you say or do anything, you might not know, your actions/words can be hurtful to others." to make her realize that whatever she did affects me and basically is telling her to watch her mouth before saying anything. 

But just when I was about to post it, I saw an article from tiny buddha about 

Hi world.

It's 27th of June today. Just a blink of an eye, half the year has gone.

and I'm having 3 jobs and the job scopes are getting larger and larger.

• account executive at both my aunts and uncle's company 
• sales executive at my aunt's company
• part-time piano teacher 

Labels: Inspiration, Life Of an Employee, thoughts, Work

Hi world.

Just feeling a little melancholy tonight, so I decided to come back to blog. Yes, no ranting about life on this corner of mine but yea, just wanna share some of my deepest thoughts here where I know just a few of yous will read it.

Well, where shall I start? I'm back home and so far, home doesn't feels like home at all. Home is about control and obligations. People say when they think of home, there's love, comfort and free. But why do I feel this way? Not that I don't feel comfortable when I'm home, but I just feel the people at home (especially the adults) are so controlling and talks only about money and obligations and nothing else it makes me sick.

Am I wrong to think that life's not just about money and obligations? But even though I'm so irritated by all these facts, but I have no choice to go on whatever I'm doing because I've gotta pay the bills and my own expenses. Why's reality so cruel?

I really miss the freedom I felt during the Italy trip. You have no idea how light I felt when I was on the trip.

The Breathtaking View

The Unique Experience in Venice

The Do-What-I-Want-Cause-I-Can Moment

The more you try to trap me with all the responsibilities, the more I wanna break free.

Labels: Life, Reality, Reminiscing, thoughts

Hi.

I just finished watching The Fault in Our Stars. I thought watching it would be less painful for me than reading it. But unfortunately, it turned out to be the other way round.

Probably because I'd read the book, and I can understand the feeling that the characters are expressing, and I got emotionally affected by it because I can relate it to my life.

It's unbearable, the pain. I guess one can never understand the pain until they'd experience it. But when you'd experienced it, you know you just gotta move on, to live with the pain.


Though they'd lost someone they loved, but whatever they had, their little infinities, were beautiful.

Labels: Pain, Quotes, Reality, Reminiscing, thoughts

I actually had a lot more to write on tumblr but I decided to write it here instead as it gets a little private.

Now that I have four three weeks of holiday before the stressful final, I'm basically just chilling everyday, rotting in my room, watching movies, stalking friends, listening to music and research on Scotland. Well I really wanna make Scotland happen but as bad as my mind wants it to happen, my body  fingers are just so reluctant to do some research about it. Okay, nobody can help me except myself.

"If you want something to happen, do something about it!" 

On the other hand, I should be studying on my taxation right now but my thoughts are everywhere now. Thought about Ace-Ed and I miss all the poem-writing, acting, giving speeches and the people there.

Reminiscing...............................

Was giving my last speech in the centre.

Labels: Past, Reminiscing, thoughts

Hi. It's been exactly one month since I blogged. (Well, coz I've got other commitment eg. Tumblr, Instagram and Dayre.)

Labels: Friends, happy, Life Of a Student, random, thoughts

Hello. Sorry for the MIA lately. Haha. I've got 3 little secrets to share today.

1) I commit maself to 3 kinda blogs. 1st is Dayre, Tumblr, then this. Okay, I know it's so hard to keep track on which blog I'll be updating, but I guess I'll update more on Dayre and Tumblr. Dayre is so convenient that I only need 20mins to share my thoughts& my day. I know it's a public space but I'm assuming that nobody's interested with my boring life&thoughts except for those who matters. As for Tumblr, because I'd joined a 100HappyDays thingi, so I'll be updating my tumblr everyday. :)

Well if you're interested, below are both ma Dayre and Tumblr link :).

• http://dayre.me/eestes
• http://esestes92.tumblr.com/

Labels: happy, just saying, Life Of a Student, Music, random, thoughts

If you pay careful attention to your emotions, you will discover, in your relationships with others, that it is often not another's behavior that is creating your misery or your inner peace or joy, but rather your own responses.

          by Margaret Paul.

Labels: Chinese, LifeGuide, motivation, Quotes, thoughts

we all have a choice to be kind, and we are presented with that choice many times a day.

 I wanna remind myself this everyday and hopefully I can let go of this incident in near future. 

Labels: lesson, thoughts

You don't understand how desperate I wanna be strong, powerful and influential because I hate the stares I get when I don't know something, I hate being ignore because of my boring topics and last but not least, I hate being an outcast.

Labels: Desperate, just saying, thoughts

This year's Father's Day was slightly different from the previous years. I get to sit down and listen to serious discussion of the adults in my family on investment and returns. I'd also learnt that the one who's closest to you are the one who has the most ability to hurt you. The more we grow up, the more we will realised that the world isn't as simple as we thought, the people we know aren't as good and kind as we thought. We can either start observing our surroundings, grab as much information as possible or continue to be ignorant and fu*k up our life.

It's time to put down the iPad, put aside the dramas and start understanding the behaviour of the people around us.

Labels: Reality, thoughts